I can’t believe I am saying this…

I think I will skip watching the Giants game tonight.

I don’t want to see those faces-those faces with the ‘blankityblank’ eating grins on them. It must be the smirkyness of the lips on the faces balanced on those necks draped with all those ridiculous gold chains.

I just don’t think I can stand watching my team lose to the Dodgers again.
Wow now that I’ve put it down in front of me it is even more wimpy and makes me sound like some sort of “fake fan”. These are not what are referred to as “band-wagoners” who just decided to become SF Giants fans in 2010. The “fake fan” simply does not have a clue to what being a “fan” means. If you are a true fan it’s your team through thick and thin.
In some cases your entire lifetime sees you rooting and following one specific team until you become a “hard core” fan.
When you call yourself a “fan” that doesn’t reflect an “on again off again” relationship. In that case you wouldn’t call yourself a “fan”.  A “real” fan doesn’t start ripping on their team if they don’t have a good game and certainly would not single out a player for ridicule or bashing. If a player on your team screws up, he screws up and you can be pissed about it however you can’t take your love away.

I never called my kids “bad” never said “bad boy” because if you call a boy bad he may turn out to be bad. Same principle- you don’t tell a player he is in a “slump” because that makes it real it gets in his head and surprise- you have a slump!
I guess I don’t understand the “fans” that demand a win every game from their team.  Not in my house.
One thing I have learned from my fifty plus years as a SF Giants fan is every player has his good days, weeks, seasons and his bad days weeks seasons. Not one single pro is above it at one time or another they have all had dry spells. “Even Buster Posey strikes out sometimes” I’ve said this and “even Barry Bonds strikes out” to my boys at one time to encourage them.

I still feel like an imbecile saying things to my kid that I thought were encouraging such as, “throw strikes Gator,” or the equally ridiculous “get a hit now, Gator”.  Uggghhhh the memory of my son’s face, my switch hitting, shortstop/pitcher who fielded like a dream and pitched with (what the PD hailed as)the “best curve ball in Sonoma County”, as he reminded me not too kindly “Mom! Duh…what do you think I am trying to do?!”

My son’s, the youngest in particular, take their baseball very seriously and game days came complete with new faces-“game faces”.  Intense!

This always confused the heck out of Mamma!     “What did I do to piss you off this time?” faces.  “What do you mean I can’t talk smile or breathe on you during the game?!” 

When my boys were upset because of how they played or how they thought they played-I felt horrible for them.

I just wanted to make them feel better and be OK with themselves knowing that they were still the exceptional player and person they were before that strikeout or error. I love them and hate to see them unhappy same goes for Angel, every Brandon, Buster, the many Matts, Nori, the Hunters, Javi, Jake, Madison, Gregor-all of my SF Giants.

Unless of course that player wears a Dodger blue uniform than I don’t think they feel bad about anything.

I don’t think all guys that play for LA are the walking punch line that Puig is but they are all big blobs of Dodger Blue. I don’t like that shade of blue.
I am well aware of the fact that as bad as I may feel nobody feels worse then the player himself.
After all it’s not like he went out there with the intention of performing poorly he wanted to do well, hell he wanted to do great! Being the hero that bangs the walk off HR into the bay or makes the game saving catch has got to be awesome and it doesn’t get old, ever.

I know it’s not the first time I have bragged about being the “oldest SF Giants fan” donning my first Giants cap at the age of 1 yr. Fan since 1958-there are those who have been fans as long but none longer.

It was a lot of tough years as a Giants fan leading up to the current situation in which we
have blown the minds and records of every other team in the world to become a “Dynasty”. We didn’t win all the time and even though we came damn close frustration was a Giants fans middle name. I had to wait 54 long years before we won a World Series.

I am extremely grateful that 2010 guaranteed that I won’t have to die without seeing my team with a trophy the other two are just bonus’.

Don’t get me wrong there have been guys that I did not and still do not “feel”. I don’t mean “touchie feelie” feel but in my heart they were just not Giants. This doesn’t happen often but there have been a couple of guys that I just never warmed up to. Obviously they were at fault somewhere along the way because my nature is to love all including all SF Giants. 🙂

Still I never call a player “bad” if he is a member of the club no matter how badly his performance is and I would never say that my team is “bad”! If I were to feel and say that I thought the San Francisco Giants were a “bad team” then I sure as hell wouldn’t call myself a “fan”. Makes no sense if I think a team is bad then I am not a fan.
If I don’t like beans I could say “I am not a fan of beans” I couldn’t say “I hate beans, they are bad but I’m a fan so I better eat them and gag puke and cry about it”.

Nope if you think the Giants are not a good team (yes its ok to think some of their players are not so good) then you sure as hell are not a fan so go find another team!

Which leads me to the essence of this blog and the part in which I sound well…hypocritical . As I said previously: You win some you lose some, you hit some you miss some, you catch some you drop some. No one can be perfect all the time then you would be…well…perfect.

I don’t mind losing but I DO mind losing to the stinking DODGERS! I have been heard to say that ‘I don’t care if we lose every other game all season long as long as we beat the Dodgers every time we face them.’ That isn’t true but very close, I can’t handle losing to LA.
This is already to lengthy so I won’t go into the horrors I have lived through as far as this rivalry goes but suffice it to say I don’t want to lose to those guys!
Last night and the night before were not good for me and last night seems to have left me in quite a bear of a mood today. I have been a bitch all day and I am certain it has to do with baseball.

Ouch won’t do that again at least not tonight.

I would find no pleasure in watching those smirking, smug faces as they falsely allow themselves to believe they can compete with us. I don’t care who you are or how much your family loves you if you wear a LA Dodgers uniform you are filth to me (in baseball). It’s in my blood, I was raised to hate the Dodgers, actually LA in general.   This isn’t personal, it is baseball hate and doesn’t extend to the actual person or their soul.    Still it is strong and never ending.

The thing I love most about being a San Francisco Giants fan is the “strange magic” the ability of the team to do the impossible. The unprecedented comebacks and the sheer magic of doing what every “expert” said you couldn’t. I find that pretty satisfying.

This said why wouldn’t I go into tonight’s game fired up with that ammo feeling like I normally do-that we can do anything! Including beating this sub-par inferior team from Southern California which is the sub-par inferior part of California.

Why? Because I don’t know who the clown will be tonight.

I feel kind of sick about the last two nights loses.  I mean really!  Players coming out of coma’s getting home-run’s while high as a kite saying stuff like

“I just got lost in the moment.” — Pederson, on his home run sprint around the bases.ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Umpires who were obviously awol from Anger Management Class.  Bochy calmly arguing a call while the ump goes ballistic!  Asinine Dodger players flustering the un-fluster able Madison Bumgarner.

It was nice to see Huddy back but wasted on this game.

 Don’t feel like laughing with or at them when they manage to pull some “wabbit” out of a hat and somehow wind up beating the best team in baseball.

My bones don’t tell me it won’t be more of the same tonight. I will have to consult Andrea astrologer to the Giants to see if the planets are misaligned allowing for this travesty.

I have to say that LA team pisses me off! The umpires pissed me off, even got pissed at Bochy and that almost never happens.

I can honestly say that in 57 years I have never before intentionally missed a game. Saying “I ain’t watching” tonight’s game is unrealistically unusual and unlike me. After all missing a Giants/Dodger game doesn’t even make sense! But I am feeling kind of vulnerable and beat-up after last night and don’t want to put myself through it again tonight.

Naturally I will be upset if I miss a win and I do like watching Kershaw pitch just because…but no not gonna do it. And all in all I think that makes me more of a fan than somebody who is going to watch and then crash bash and trash our coach our players or our team if they don’t win.     Oops- Gotta go, Game Time!

Go Giants Beat LA damn it Beat LA!!